I write things down and things happen. They would happen too if I did not write things down but they would be different things.




The Last Secret

Everyone knows the C.I.A. is guilty of being wrong.
Ineptitude has consequences, even in the government.
The agency should have been dissolved a long time ago.
The agents could become Amway salesmen.



There was a point in my life that conspiracies were of great interest. I almost joined the Freemasons. I once asked a Freemason (that's how you get in, one of them has to vouch for you), "If you and I were walking down the street and we both saw a billboard, would you as a mason see something that I as a non-mason would not see?"

He said, "No."

After that I lost interest in joining the Freemasons.



If you don't consider yourself a genius no one else will.
They're all too stupid.


The Falls



And here we have something without recourse, but that in time seeds its own resolution. A smaller perturbation than once thought.


The End of the World

It's much easier to live like there's no tomorrow than it is to live life as if what you do today will make living tomorrow better.



Celebrate is an often misused word in the modern lexicon. I use the word in the traditional sense, meaning at some point champagne will be involved. Like sports teams that celebrate championships with champagne. I'm not athletically inclined, so I tend to drink it instead of spraying it on teammates but we both celebrate with champagne.

Compare this to people who want to celebrate diversity or empowerment, or community. At those celebrations there may be some warmed over hot dish or stale cake if you're lucky but certainly no champagne. Believe me I've looked.

Celebrate should always mean champagne, not face painting.



I give panhandles pre-moistened towelettes instead of money, at least it's a start.


Geezer Quiz

Name the bands who originally recorded these songs.

1. Ballroom Blitz

2. Rock & Roll Hoochie Coo

3. The Boys Are Back in Town

4. Smokin' in the Boy's Room

If you got them all you should be ashamed of your misspent youth.
(Answers Below)

1. Sweet, 2. Rick Derringer, 3. Thin Lizzy, 4. Brownsville Station


Harriet Miers

I think she wears too much mascara, especially for a woman her age. Shows bad judgment.


Doom on You

It's overcast and raining here today so in keeping with that mood I tried to think up as many catastrophes as I could just off the top of my head. I would have thought the list would be longer.

WMD terrorist attack

Flu Pandemic

China invades Taiwan

California Earthquake (third on FEMA's short list of disasters, the other two, a terrorist attack and a hurricane aimed at New Orleans have already happened)

Global Economic Collapse

Running out of Oil

A Huge Meteor hits Earth

Global Warming (to those so inclined)

Magnetic Pole Shift (this one's my favorite)

Second Hand Smoke (except in Minneapolis)

Radon Gas



If there's one lefty I still enjoy reading it's Merle Kessler, who in the guise of Ian Shoales had a brief run on NPR in the early nineties. Of football he said, "Football is like prostitution, it's people ruining their bodies for the pleasure of others."
Following that analogy the Vikings must be crack whores.