New Rules

With the Superbowl fast approaching I'd like to suggest a rule change for the game of football. It makes no sense for a team after scoring to surrender possession of the ball to their opponent. The scoring team did nothing wrong, in fact they fulfilled their mission. I propose the scoring team keeps possession of the ball until they fail to make a first down (or are intercepted or fumble).

This "now it's your turn" nonsense has to go. What if political parties adopted this thinking? The Republicans have been in office a long time, isn't it time they gave another party a turn? It's only fair.

Reordering Time

We generally tend to mark time by decades but I'm convinced we are grouping the years incorrectly. Instead of using years ending in zero, to mark a decade we should use years ending with a 5 as in:

1955 to 1965

1965 to 1975

1975 to 1985

1985 to 1995

1995 to 2005

I'm not sure why but it's easier to see things chronologically this way. Maybe it has to do with the election cycle. Still I doubt people are willing to give up those catchy nicknames like the Sixties and the Seventies.

On Launching Phone Books into Space

NASA, as part of its recent Spacedust mission, solicited the general population to submit their names to be put on a microchip and launched as part of the probe. The web site says they did so as part of a public outreach program. Humans love this stuff ( I use "humans" because we are talking extraterrestrial here) as evidenced by the continued popularity of the International Star Registry every holiday. Why doesn't NASA just launch telephone books into space and skip the science altogether? Maybe then they could redirect their efforts to something useful, like finding alternative energy sources. I've always suspected NASA was a government make work program for smart people.

If the Clergy Designed Automobiles

The 1957 Aurora.

Islamic Humor

The LAPD (Los Angeles Police Department), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!

Not funny? Maybe Albert Brooks has better luck in his new movie.

Time to Relax

After thinking the unthinkable this week, this weekend is time to relax. Drink a little beer and read a little Heidegger.

Tech Tips

Todays tech tip will come in handy for all of you who received a new computer for Christmas. The recovery of storage media from the drive is really a high tech Heimlich Maneuver. First start by purchasing a paper clip or more than one. I don't think they'll let you buy just one even though that's all you need. You can make necklaces, bracelets or long chains (like Jacob Marley) to decorate next year's Christmas tree with the remaining paper clips.

Bend the end of the paper clip similar to the one in the diagram and insert it into the small hole below the drive. This procedure is much like poking a dangerous animal with a stick to see if it's really dead.

Clinton's Legacy

For me Clinton's legacy will always remain firmly shoved down Sandy Berger's pants.