An Interview

So what is it you do?

Well...I pick up objects and carry them from one room to another.

Then what?

I put them down.

And you follow this pattern?

Mostly...sometimes I'll pick up an object and move it to a different place in the same room. Or else I'll pick up two objects, say one in each hand, and I'll carry them both to another room. Sometimes I'll put one object in one room and carry the one
I'm still holding to yet another room.

I see, there are quite a number of possibilities aren't there.

Yes there are.

When did you start doing this?

I really don't remember. I must have been very young.

And do you still enjoy moving objects?

Well it gets to be a burden sometimes if you can't remember where you put a certain object you want to move.

So you don't just move any object?

No, I'm pretty particular about the objects I move.

What gives you the greatest satisfaction moving objects?

I guess the fact they stay where I set them down. You can get some interesting combinations this way. I'll set an object down and then maybe a few days later decide to set another object next to it, and the first object will still be there, if I haven't moved it.

Has there been any advances in moving objects?

The major advance, although this is really an old idea, is to put objects inside another object. This enables you to move more objects then you could otherwise without this object. Even though this means you're carrying an additional object, I guess it's a good trade off.

Would you ever carry this object by itself?

You could, but without the other objects it's pretty useless.

And this practice has caught on?

Yes, it's very popular. Who ever thought this up really had a good idea.

The Gift

One day a friend presented me with a wrapped gift.
"Here I've thought a lot about this and I want you to have it."
I started to open it and he stopped me.
"No, don't open it, I mean don't open it just yet."
"So when do you want me to open it?"
"Not until after you die. Of course you won't be able to actually open it then but you'll know what's
inside and you'll appreciate it."
"So what do you want me to do with it in
the mean time?"
"Just keep it."
So I threw it in a drawer with the rest of my junk.

I lost touch with the friend who gave me the gift but I still keep it unopened. Not so much out of respect for the friend's wishes but because the gift represents something mysterious in my life, something formless. I know about how much it weighs and what it sounds like when it's shaken. The gift has become one of my favorite possessions because I can project on to it anything I wish. Sometimes I have become very superstitious about the gift, blaming it for both good or bad fortune. I finally realized that it was just an object, and like most objects was inert unless acted upon.

So there it sits, in my drawer and now yours.